That One Person #suicideprevention #buildeachotherup

i think the majority of the world has that one person who can break them down just as quickly as they can build them up. that one person who can make it all wrong and then make it all right at the same time.  i know i do.

maybe its more than one person. maybe its your parents, a sibling, your best friend, your mate… regardless of who it is, it shows that you value their opinion and put weight on what they say. maybe a little too much. the fact of the matter is that no one should be able to break you down. ever.

it seems easy to say but never easy to do; as valuing someone’s opinion tends to mean that you love and respect that person. but it can sometimes mean that you are lowering yourself in order to do so. i’m not gonna lie, i’ve almost ALWAYS done that. seriously. it’s because in the past i have discovered that when i don’t lower myself to someone else, someone i called a friend at the time, they get really upset and walk away. as someone who cannot stand when people do that i felt that lowering myself was a necessity. boy was i wrong.  looking back on that with a clear mind i now know that no one who truly loved and cared for me would ever even allow me to lower myself in any way. and no one who truly loves and cares for me will walk away from me just because things get difficult.  to be completely honest, no one who is ok with doing that to you or me should never be held to such a high standard. doing so could have tragic results, and not for the other person.

we have to value ourselves, survivors. trust your intuition, follow your heart, and believe your gut feeling. more often than not, you’re right on. if you need a second opinion or help, don’t be too afraid or prideful to ask for it from the right people. people who WANT to be helpful. not people who want to have power over you or people who want to be right. people who have YOUR best interests at heart.

don’t be like the person who can break you down, be someone that builds others up.

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Work & Effort #suicideprevention

anything that is worth having requires work & effort to get it and then keep it once you have it.

it applies to almost everything; a good career, relationships, a nice physique, good health… more relevant mental health and stability. all worth having. very much so. but a lot of times humans have a period, sometimes a lifetime, of going through the motions. it is in that period where we kind of accept what is thrown at us, good or bad… the going wherever the wind takes us… the (ALMOST) standing for nothing which require doing the very minimum to even attempt to keep anything  or anyone that we have in our lives.

keep in mind that i know things happen… people leave, and we lose things even when we have tried our best to make sure they stick around. but when we don’t try our best and put in the work & effort, why would anything stick? the effort required to maintain what seems material should be the same, if not more, when talking about what isn’t material. maintaining stability on a mental level requires DAILY, CONSTANT work and effort, regardless of if you struggle with depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. and, usually, gets easier as time progresses. on a personal note i can honestly say that helps me significantly. i feel like its necessary for me to stay alive, because if i don’t do that i know my bad thoughts will start again to be louder than the loving thoughts are. i need to apply what i have learned in therapy everyday because i NEED to stay alive. i WANT to. i know that i have a lot i need to do still, and i know that the same applies to people who struggle with suicidal thoughts.

if you or someone you know needs an encouraging word, help, or ANYTHING… please take the effort to ask for it. get help. it will save your life, just as it saved mine.

Saying, Meaning, & Doing

there’s a huge difference between saying something and meaning it…

people like to throw words out there all the time. maybe they like to hear themselves talk, maybe they were just taught to say those things to make people feel better, or maybe they are actually challenging themselves to actually mean what they say but they just fall short.

i’m aware that people aren’t always gonna follow through with their actions, but come on now. no one has a sign on their heads that says “please throw your empty promises at me.” while words are comforting for the moment, its actions that resonate forever. its why everyone, their mom, and their great grandma quotes “actions speak louder than words,” but we are all prone to allowing words to carry way too much weight.

love is a verb. if someone loves you they WILL show it. by the same token if you love someone you WILL show it. they/you can’t help but to do so because their/your love is SO loud for you/them.. you will be more inclined to believe what they say because of who they are and how they show their love for people. “i love you” implies action. “i will be there for you” implies action(s). “i love you back” the same. don’t just say you love someone… show it. i don’t know if you feel the same, but i feel like the world needs more evidence of loving and caring people in it…

start by loving yourselves, survivors. then pay it forward.

Compassion Alert

i came across this blog today:

http://compassionalert.tumblr.com/

this blog attempts to challenge people to help others who struggle with suicidal thoughts and keep them alive. here is their statement:

“following this blog is not for you if:

  • You are easily frustrated with people.
  • You think it’s okay to belittle or bully someone about their emotions, calling them selfish, stupid, or anything of that nature, telling them to ‘get over it’, etc.
  • You are going to try and offer advice that you are not authorized to give (giving medical advice, attempting to diagnose people, etc.).
  • You are going to send any type of hate mail or negative comments.
  • You are unstable yourself and should therefore not be dealing with the stress of others.

This blog was not created to be an advice blog. This blog exists so the tumblr community can show love to those in pain, particularly those who are suicidal. It is not a form of treatment or a way to help everyone play the part of a therapist. I cannot control the actions of the followers, who are the ones that respond to these alerts, but some of you have been causing trouble when you respond. If you fit any of the above descriptions, then you may want to re-evaluate your motives for following this blog and possibly consider unfollowing. Thank you.
~ Madden”

so survivors, i challenge you to do the same… use your voice, experience, love, and compassion to try to save someone’s life. the world needs it. there are way too many people hurting right now and your light, your presence, your kind words can really be helpful.

Lies Vs. Truths

i’m striving to be someone who tells the truth 100% of the time, even if it hurts me. some people might respect me for that, some people might run away from it as fast as they can… i think i’m prepared for both. anyway i said that to say that i think people should strive for the same thing, especially those with depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts.

from experience, i can say that it’s a good 7-8 times easier to believe lies when you struggle with these things. more often than not, it’s those negative thoughts that are on repeat that drive us mad. depressive episodes, anxiety attacks.. i truly believe that lies are the main triggers. the lie that we aren’t good enough, the lie that we can’t get better, the lie that there is no hope, the lie that no one will ever love us, the lie that we won’t amount to anything, that we are weak… you get the point by now. a bad experience with a person we have placed significance on is stored in our memory, a lie is created from that experience, and then if someone reminds us of that experience we can get stuck on it and put the lie on repeat.

so how do we get those lies out of here? with love, which happens to be the truth. in all relationships and friendships one of the deepest ways of showing love is by being truthful. in our relationships with ourselves it’s possibly the best way. we can show love to ourselves, but we first have to stop believing the lies that are on replay in our minds and fill our minds and hearts with positivity.

the truth is we ARE good enough, we WILL get better, there IS hope, we ARE ALREADY loved, we have BRIGHT FUTURES, and we are STRONG. bad experiences in the past do not mean they will carry on into the future. we can change our future by loving ourselves first. changing the negatives into positives. let the truths prevail over the lies and it gets better, survivors.