i feel like most people have the tendency to remember the bad times the most…
as of about… a couple hours ago i’ve been wondering why that is and trying to come up with some sort of explanation. maybe the bad things are more significant than the good… maybe the bad things (depending on the circumstance) are overwhelmingly more bad than the good things… maybe we don’t want to forget what was done… maybe we want justice… maybe we are still trying to figure out the lesson from that experience… maybe we want to know why it happened to us in the first place; why us and not someone else? why anyone? maybe there isn’t enough room in the brain for us to remember EVERYTHING, so we remember the stuff that sticks out like a sore thumb, which is usually the bad times.
i can’t speak for anyone else, but most of the bad times in my life are stuck on replay. seriously. i’m always thinking about how i could have made things better, how sorry i am (regardless of if i’m wrong or not), how i want so badly not to ever make the same mistakes or hurt someone again… all of it. i spend most of my days walking on eggshells and stuck in bad memories and Lord knows i don’t want to live that way. i can’t stand having someone’s perception of me or how someone has treated me in the past control my life. its why i just recently decided to ACTIVELY move on. not just say i’ve moved on but actually do it. to not be hung up on somebody that i USED TO KNOOOOOWW (lol sorry i had to.. that song couldn’t be more relevant).
if it’s the case that there isn’t enough room in the brain to remember it all i guess its up to me (you… everyone) to start replacing the bad memories with new and good ones, without losing the lesson that pain brought upon us. it seems impossible, but it isn’t. i just started a few days ago and it’s working like a charm so far. i’m so thankful that there are still people in the world willing to take a chance on me and have proven my doubts about myself wrong.
all it takes is a little bravery and help along the way. recovery really doesn’t have to be as hard as it looks.