Assumptions #mentalhealth #suicideprevention

disclaimer: if i sound a bit angry or irritated at the start of this one, it’s because i am. but the feeling will subside as the blog goes on.. i’m sure of it.

there is a HUGE difference between making what people call “educated guesses” and assumptions. the former implies that someone has obtained accurate, unquestionable information that allows them to come to a logical conclusion (which would therefore make it not a guess)… and the latter (to be quite frank) is someone pulling “non-solutions” out of their asses. i’m sure that’s part of the reason why most tend to say “when you assume, you make an ass out of you and me,” because assumptions are almost always false.

assumptions, to me, can be placed in the same categories as stigmas, prejudices,  stereotypes, etc. because for one, as previously stated they are almost always false and for two each involve some type of pride, arrogance, and ignorance on the part of the person making said assumption.

for example, if someone has an idea in their mind about someone who deals with addiction/suicidal thoughts/depression/anxiety/schizophrenia (whatever the mental illness may be), they are likely going to hold fast to that idea and therefore continue making assumptions about it. for one, it’s easier to stick with what you think you know rather than inquiring about the actual facts because for two, those facts threaten the validity of that person’s knowledge which would of course make them uncomfortable.

it seems we live in a world where comfort is more important than truth, which is sad (to say the VERY least) because are hurting and even dying as a result. there are many out there who feel like they can’t come forward about their hang ups and addictions because people are uncomfortable with or incapable of showing love to help people overcome them.

as i have said before in a previous blog, why would anyone be helpful or learn how to be so if they feel they don’t have to? it’s MUCH easier to become part of the problem than it is to become part of the solution and that needs to be changed immediately, because there are people like you and me… there are people that you know who are depending on it. it’s their hope for a better future. so please, if you can help it (which you can) stop making assumptions and find out what real about mental health… and learn to be aware of the warning signs that someone is in trouble.


Proactive #mentalhealth #suicideprevention

when’s the last time you heard someone use that word? proactive. i mean it sounds like an old word that gramps like to use when he’s telling the youngin’s we are being to lazy…

“you need to be more PROACTIVE, son”

“the early bird catches the worm”

and other relevant sayings…

but today i realized how true that is. the majority of people in the nation, it seems, do need to be more proactive… and i don’t mean in such a way that promotes self because we have enough self promotion/people who operate with selfish motives in the world. what i do mean is, we need to educate ourselves on triggers of self-destructive behavior, suicidal tendencies, signs of depression and other mental illness, etc… and take preventative measures to put an end to it all.

not only do we need to do this as observers, but as people who experience these things as well. i think it is way too easy to just sit back and accept things as they are or sit back and settle as if this is a life we have to live, but it really isn’t so. why should people live with feeling unloved and unwanted, and why should people continue to act as if there aren’t others who feel this way?

today i also remembered that it is when we feel unloved, rejected, unwanted, undesired.. all other negative feelings under the sun that it is much more tempting to choose the path of self-destruction. to drink ourselves stupid, go get high, or even kill ourselves because it feels like we have nothing left to hope for. why be proactive when you feel like there is no reason to be?

but that’s the biggest lie anyone could ever feed into because that’s when we as either friends or family of someone in need or as the person in need needs to be the most active. depending on who you are it might be hard to show them love, but that’s when they need it the most. it might be hard to love yourself, but that is what keeps you alive. the hope for better tomorrows and knowing that you won’t always be where you are now… the faith and strength that comes with the struggle.. and the love that comes with finding out you aren’t alone and you ARE loved because of who you are, not in spite of it.

i guess the moral of the story is to be proactive. keep moving forward and pushing past obstacles and believe it will take you farther than you ever imagined, whether it be in your relationship with someone who struggles with mental illness or suicidal thoughts or whether you are currently trying to recover.

Cherish #mentalhealth

about a month ago one of my friends told me that i was supposed to write about this…

to be honest, at the time i was a bit out of my mind because i believed i HAD nothing to cherish. while i appreciated her thinking about me, i felt it was unrealistic to even think about cherishing anything because, as i said, i thought i had nothing.

but today i actually thought about it and i realized that i need to stop trying to forget things & suppressing any memories i have that might trigger anxiety or depression. me doing so confirms that i’m scared of feeling something that’s natural and OK to feel at times. it gives people power over me and also robs me of all the good memories of the past because i’m so busy trying to forget the things i have done wrong or the wrong that has been done to me..

when you focus SO much on the negative you tend to forget all the good that you need to hold on to. the good that gives you any real hope not only for the future but to make it through the present day. its not OK to live in the past by any means, but it IS OK to cherish the memories, the good about people from the past, and the lesson(s) that you learned which make you as strong as you are today and can only make you stronger if you let them.

its also OK to be grateful for who and what you have in your life now, knowing that where you are in life is only temporary; to be used as a stepping stone or life lesson to go confidently in the direction of your hopes and dreams.

the great thing about all of it is because you have so much ahead of you, regardless of how you good or bad you feel in the moment currently, you can look back on where you were and cherish the fact that you made it in spite of any obstacles you have faced.

Living In Fear #mentalhealth #suicideprevention

when i’m in my right mind, and believe it or not i am most of the time, it seems as if i am very aware of everything around me.

that could be interpreted to be a good thing or a bad thing… i believe its interesting to say the least. some people believe that you don’t have to constantly be aware of whats being said or done by others because its living in fear or being paranoid.. that you should just forget the “what ifs,” live in the moment and do your best because, well, that’s all you can do.

while that is true to an extent, i believe you should be guarded and pay close attention to your surroundings…. because other people’s thoughts and actions can slowly start to shape your own. if you think about it, a lot of people are driven by fear. fear of failure, fear of loss, fear of death.. rejection… all things negative under the sun.. and they project that (sometimes subconsciously) by their thoughts and actions.

maybe doing your best means having the ability to block out or shut down any triggers that can cause negative thoughts and feelings, which lead to negative actions toward yourself and others. maybe it means choosing to live the life you are purposed to live and making each day count. maybe it means making yourself better in order to make the world better.

…from a mental standpoint, maybe its living in the hope that with time, patience, care, and practice, you can have control over your anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, etc.

its NOT living in fear and moving forward, knowing with faith and confidence that it will get better and the only way you can do that is if you stay tuned, stick around, and don’t give up.

Stir Crazy #suicideprevention #mentalhealth

i find it interesting (for lack of a better word) how many people are trying to escape something…

seriously. everywhere i go i find at least one person trying to go away from where i just went either in the literal sense or figuratively. more often than not its the latter, with people using some kind of substance for whatever reason (keep in mind i’m not exempt from this either).

someone (including myself) is always saying something along the lines of  “this would be better if we were drunk” or “we can’t do this SOBER”.. doing anything in your right mind tends to make things a bit too real sometimes.

seemingly a perfect segue into while i hadn’t been blogging as much. as i said in “out of sight, out of mind… again” i hadn’t been keeping up with you’re not finished blogs, survivor stories, and suicide prevention advocacy for about a month and a half, as i was acting like my own issues with depression, anxiety, and suicide we’re not only not relevant but didn’t exist at times. it’s because recovery from such things is a long process and someone who is impatient (like myself) has the tendency to look for quick fixes when real recovery gets… boring(?)

i guess you could say, recovery was making me “stir crazy,” because i would be sober having to constantly practice what i’ve learned in therapy all while looking around at others being sober seemingly not having to do the same and that would just make me feel more anxious or discouraged.. like i was stuck in some kind of pit of therapeutic stuff that was taking too long to work.

i’ve always had this mindset (more in the past than presently) that being under the influence gives me this feeling of freedom, courage, strength… happiness that i couldn’t find while being sober. its the biggest lie anyone can live in, and deadly quite frankly.

recently i had my worst encounter with alcohol. i don’t think it was alc poisoning, but it was one of a couple things that make me vomit my entire life story for a whole day, something i’ve never done before. ever since then i’ve been evaluating my life and how i want to live it… i’m 26, i’d like to think i’m a good person more often than not, got a decent job i reckon (it will only get better) and yet there is a part of me that believes i need alcohol to be emotionally sound? that’s asinine.

i’ve said it before and i should remember it more often, but i know that this recovery thing doesn’t have to suck. i know that i can slip up or make mistakes but all of those things can be fixed. by being honest about the process i’m going through i know i can help someone else be real about their issues and seek help in the same way i am… or find comfort in knowing they aren’t alone and never have to be again. ever.

i truly believe that people have to know that its not about how you start, or about the mistakes (sometimes bad choices) you make along the way. its about finishing well and finding hope, love, kindness, joy, peace and all that entails along the way.