They Are Just Words… #mentalhealth #suicideprevention

In advance I’d like to apologize for the language that might come out in this blog. Nothing I say is intended to hurt others, just to raise awareness about what is (or isn’t) happening when it comes to mental health.

Actually no, they are NOT JUST WORDS.

I mean seriously. I’m actually confused… The recent events going on in America alone and people’s reactions to them has me wondering where the unity is, if it even exists. Where the heck is the compassion?

Yes, people have opinions and beliefs about things and YES those opinions and beliefs are going to differ from time to time (or more often than not), but damn what happened to respect?? Not being hurtful to people? Acknowledging how someone feels? Doing so and then not undervaluing or diminishing those feelings?!? Are those all lost concepts?

I KNOW I’m not the only human in the world who gives a shit about how other humans feel. I KNOW I’m not the only human who is careful to use their words in or to promote and give life/positivity, not destroy and kill and remorseful when I don’t use uplifting words.

In the last 3 or 4 days ALONE I have seen more disrespect than I have seen my 27 years of existence. Ok, maybe that minute in the grander scale of things, but it makes me so angry to see people verbally attacking others for what they believe in. If what someone believes in is wrong, educate them don’t torment them! If someone’s opinion is different, respect them don’t bully them! I feel like this is just common and moral sense! Then again I guess common sense really ISN’T that common and neither is morality these days.

What prompted this latest expression of outrage? Well, a Facebook status (not mine, and I’m sure others in addition to the one I can currently see, paraphrased) reads “If you believe [fill in the blank], unfriend me, unfollow me, and right now also kill yourself.” It took everything I had in me to not lose my mind right then and there. Why is this so easy for people to say?!!?!

I wish people understood that he power of the tongue is greater than any in this world. It can start wars, kill people, lead people to kill themselves, cause people to spiral downward… the words that people say, ESPECIALLY if they are negative can shape someone’s entire life. I’m not saying that people should walk on eggshells or that others should hang on people’s words because I truly believe that people have what they need to survive right inside of them. But please, survivors, initiate change in the world by extending some kindness and compassion. My goodness! And please lead others to do the same.


Just A “Friendly” Reminder… #mentalhealth #suicideprevention

So, if you read the previous post you will know that I just recently had a birthday… which has inspired me to really clean up a few things. For example, the day before my birthday I quit my job (thereby removing a good 31 stressors) and since then I have cut off a lot of triggers (both material and personal) that are detrimental to my growth. I mean quite honestly I was getting sick of falling back into old habits which were stunting my progress.

So the other day, against better judgment might I add, I invited someone who is a trigger to an amazing event I was going to volunteer at. Since I’m being honest, part of me thought this person wasn’t going to accept the invitation and the other part believe that maybe this was what they needed to initiate change. I mean, it was a great event. People were repairing bikes for free, giving out free food, loving on each other, giving away all kinds of prizes…. it really brought the community together.

I probably don’t need to explain that this trigger did not hesitate to rear its ugly head, by giving me a not-so-friendly reminder of how I used to be; of what I am sometimes ashamed of. But instead of succumbing to the effects of that I just (figuratively) punted them away from me. Without hesitation. Done.

I wrote this story in order to give hope to those who are having trouble getting away from people and things that are dragging them into the mud. It is NEVER too late to start over, survivors! I’m 27 years old and starting my life over in order to make sure I (and others around me) survive and prevail.

We don’t have to live a life where were are just getting by, always wondering when we will give in to our additions/depression/suicidal thoughts/anxiety/etc. We are meant to live victorious lives… lives of abundance…. we are to be joyous and purposeful souls! I firmly believe that it’s not about how you start, but how you finish. If you start the path of finishing well, you will encounter help… run into positive people… you won’t be able to see your past anymore because it is forgiven. If you want to make things right, you have to start by taking that first step of faith and allowing others to help you and walk with you on your journey of recovery.

You can start here:

And if you need a bit more inspiration from others who are conquering the struggle with mental illness, there is some here:

27 #mentalhealth #suicideprevention

I turned 27 on Father’s Day.

Before I comment on the significance of that I think it’s important to note that Father’s Day has always… irritated me because my father and so many others have decided to just not be one (I know a lot of mothers do the same, but for relevance I will stick to the point). Of course now I realize that it doesn’t matter who ISN’T there, but who IS.

So here’s what’s interesting about 6/16/2013: I didn’t expect to see it. In fact, there was a point in my life where I didn’t want to see it. I didn’t care what was going to happen after March 2009 or September 21, 2011. I just cared about what was happening in the moment, and hated myself for being so weak in those moments. I wanted out.

It wasn’t until later that I realized how those moments of perceived weakness turned out to create an amazing strength I never knew I had. Shortly after that, I was inspired to share that strength with others who need it. The lesson I have learned from these blogs and all the survivor stories here on is that it is only when we are comforted that we can be come comforters; and we can only be comforted when hard times befall us.

In addition to that, we must stay alive to count our past as joyous for the purposes of discovering our true strength and helping others to do the same. Our life stories can’t have any transformative power if we contain them… our scars can’t be healed if we conceal them… our thought processes can’t change without action.

Yes, we have all gone through rough times and yes I am aware that I am understating this more than I probably ever have. Believe me when I say I understand feeling unloved, unwanted, useless, used, washed up, and insignificant. But I also realized that I had to stay alive to discover the true feeling of being loved, wanted, useful, renewed, and full of purpose. Troubles don’t last always; and the thing that is constant is help and support from people who understand your pain and support you just for who you are.

Your chance to get help is here:

Your choice to use your voice to help others starts here:

Let’s do this thing called life together, survivors.