What Is This All For? #mentalhealth #MHBlog

In one of my previous posts, I addressed how it seems that the majority of mental health advocates/organizations love addressing the struggles of mental health. I’m not sure if it is because they want to be known or want people to understand what it is they really struggle with, or they want to relate to as many people as possible (either genuinely or not so).

Either way, who can really fault them (or maybe I should say us, since the former reason is why I initially started this blog)? Everyone has a voice, and if they are going to use it with the hopes of helping people understand mental illness and mood disorders I am all for it.

But somehow education and the awareness of stigma have become secondary to making entertaining and buzz worthy blogs.

I get offended when people capitalize on real human need. Extremely offended. Or when others in position of power take someone’s raw emotion, which is intended for breakthrough, and use it for their own personal gain.

If power is made perfect in vulnerability and someone in position of power knows that, I’m gonna guess that it will take a stand-up ethical man or woman to NOT exploit that for their own profit. This should be a common ideal, but of course it isn’t, and this makes me realize that THIS is why people don’t ask for help.

I believe with everything I have that there are many people who can see right through someone who could not care less for them, but will settle for that false love and hope until it runs dry or loses its effect. Then what? Do people run to the next thing that will make them feel better temporarily? Some don’t. Some start to get tired of things always being temporary. And the restlessness and dissatisfaction of a temporary life can have a permanent ending that no man or woman, boy or girl ever deserves.

Advocacy can have more of an impact if we start to go after people and see them for who they are, not for what they can contribute. That is when real change comes and stigma ends.

What Really Matters #MHblog #mentalhealth #suicideprevention

In my last post, I admitted that I had a bit of a breakdown because of some personal things that happened/had been happening.

I don’t like to go into details about things like this, because it doesn’t matter that I was crying uncontrollably or that I could hardly get out of bed even though I couldn’t sleep anyway. It doesn’t matter that for a minute I felt that I couldn’t talk to anyone about how I felt because every time I open up people leave. It doesn’t matter that I completely shut down and decided that I would delete my primary source of communication and isolate so no one would try to convince me that my feelings just might be valid just to make me feel stupid about them later. It doesn’t matter that I felt like I deserved bad things to happen to me.

What matters… is that everything I just said could NOT be more wrong.

I can’t imagine how many people go through that with the thought that their real, raw, intense, and valid emotional pain means nothing. It’s crazy how many people are led to believe that it is a waste of time or inconvenient; that it is THEIR fault they struggle with mental and/mood disorders and might want to kill themselves because of it.

The fact that a lot of people simply cannot express themselves in a healthy way because of the stigma attached to being genuine and the sheer ignorance and laziness of people solely concerned about their own well being… THAT is what matters and needs to be addressed.

It is because of that that I decided to leave things as they are. My personal Facebook page will remain deactivated until further notice, my phone will most likely stay off. With the inability to find a safe place to be yourself and recover sometimes you have to find the strength to create that place. That is what I have done for myself, and others who need that place as well. No judgment, condemnation, lies, or misconceptions. Just truth.

If you need help please don’t hesitate to click this link and call one of the numbers: https://yourenotfinished.com/get-help/

If you need reminders of what keeps you going, check out my last video:

Stay safe, survivors. And stay alive.

The Unseen #mentalhealth #suicideprevention

Last week I released a video of a few of my friends explaining what keeps them alive, because on my Twitter (@YNFinished) I tweet what keeps me alive. The video served to make things personal so you can see proof of what keeps people going. That it is more than just words.

I have a lot of things that I feel keep me going, but I realized the central focus of my existence is support through friendships and family. I have known this for a while, but it wasn’t until yesterday when I made a startling discovery (to make it dramatic) about a friend (who apparently was never really so; news to me however) how much the opposite of that kills me. When I feel like I don’t have that support, its not good to put it mildly. It was because of this incident and a lot of other important factors that for the first time in a while I thought about how I could escape, and for a split second I entertained the thought of taking my life.

Admitting this means several things. To cover the bad news first, I could lose credibility since I’m actually trying to help people overcome suicidal thoughts and prevent the act all together. It could also add to the stigma in that people will talk ABOUT me and not TO me, which I am no stranger to but that does not make it any less ridiculous (because advocates are not supposed to be human and share how they feel, right?).

But on the upside there is a chance someone is going to read this and express concern to me personally without even the thought of going behind my back to question who I am… and then there is the fact that I no longer care about the consequences of what I reveal because I still have to be true to myself regardless of whether people are going to be true to me, and I still have to tell the truth so that no one even has the opportunity to tell a lie in my place. I have the hope that whatever I say or do going forward is going to benefit someone; that what people intend for bad I intend for good.

To set the record straight, there is no way on this earth that I will ever attempt suicide again. Twice is enough, and I am thankful that I survived both times because it confirmed that taking my life is not an option. But this doesn’t mean that myself or anyone else can’t ever express how they feel or grief openly, get support and comfort for it, then use the support they received to pay it forward for someone else in need.

I realized today that with growth, what keeps me going is something far more powerful and substantial than that which is temporary. It is important to place our hope in what is unseen… the future, faith, raising money for a trip you have yet to take, the genuine relationships you will have, good memories to come, sharing life with someone who ACTIVELY cares for you, reconciliation, overcoming mental illness and/or living life as fully as you can in spite of it and the impact you can have on people who deal the same things you have… whatever that means to you.

That is REALLY what keeps me alive because all the other things have faded away, people have deserted me for whatever reason, as they are entitled to do so… and yet it is the unseen that prevented me from dwelling on that split second thought of ending my life, then following through with the action.

Here is link to the video if you want to watch it:

Stay strong, survivors. It may not feel like it now, but there are much bigger things ahead of us than there ever were behind us.

The Struggle Is Real #mentalhealth #suicideprevention

Studies have shown that the vast majority of people, if not all of them, don’t like to struggle.

I can’t be the only person who hates those ridiculous studies. Anyway, sarcasm aside while this is true I have found that a lot of people who struggle with and/or advocate for or against mental health/suicide are attracted to it.

“Do you struggle? Oh I do, too! Let’s struggle together!”

But while community is awesome I’m not sure if struggle pacts like these are effective. It’s not supposed to be the struggle that comforts most, but the triumph over the struggle. The latter provides freedom, the former entails a lifelong, comfortable struggle… and I firmly believe that life ISN’T meant to be a constant struggle. How are advocates ever going to be successful and showing people their lives can be transformed and giving people real hope if the constant focus is the STRUGGLE?

I wonder if I have used the word “struggle” enough. Haven’t I?

It’s important to note that the only way out is through; but if you’re sitting in the middle of chaos marinating in it there is no way you’re going to make it out of the other side. There is beauty in the breakthrough, and most importantly you are always moving. It doesn’t matter how slow the movement is… just that it is necessary to do so.

You’re Not Finished means that there is a chance that someone has started poorly or not started their lives at all but while they are still living they can make the moves necessary to finish well.

This one is more for mental health/suicide prevention advocates who find is easier to relate to others than problem solving. It’s not a popularity contest, this is a real struggle that we need to address.

https://yourenotfinished.com/get-help/

If you need some encouragement as someone who deals with mood disorders/suicidal thoughts, see the link above, watch this video,

or send me a personal message. Always here to help.

What Keeps Us Alive Video #suicideprevention #mentalhealth

Hey survivors!

Today I have posted a video to help people remember what keeps them alive. I hope and pray it’s encouraging and inspirational for all who watch! Thanks for all your continued support throughout YNF’s journey. There is more to come!