My Job Wasn’t the Only Thing I Quit

I quit my job in February without having another job lined up or any sort of backup plan for a few reasons:

• I was burnt out
  • The job title didn’t match the duties, required (& ever-changing) knowledge, or job description.
• Anxiety & depression were at an all-time high
  • I already struggled with anxiety & depression, but they became increasingly worse – diminished mental health caused me to miss work more than I ever had. Additionally, I only had the mental capacity to work, but nothing else, which affected my personal life & ability to focus on YNF.
• Lack of sleep & headaches
  • Most days I was getting about 4 hours of sleep or less & having throbbing headaches that prevented me from doing much of anything.
• The publicly expressed company values didn’t match private thoughts & behaviors
  • It looked amazing on the outside, but chaotic and poorly managed (to put it mildly) on the inside.
• The final revelation
  • Major life events showed me that I was losing myself, acting out of character, & had beliefs & values that didn’t line up with what I was doing.

Two & a half months after my last day, I’m realizing that it was the best decision I could have made at that time. I’ve lost weight (unsure of how much as I am intentionally not weighing myself for now), get about 6-8 hours of sleep daily, am continuing to recover mentally, & have been able to pick up better habits that contribute to my wellbeing (& ultimately the wellbeing of others) so I can stop being an entire hypocrite while trying to promote better mental health.

I didn’t just quit my job, I quit living a life that was killing me.

I needed to decide which “hard” I was going to choose:

• the difficulty of staying in a decent paying job at the risk of my physical, mental, & spiritual health or
• the difficult of being unemployed for an undetermined amount of time to focus on restoring all the things I was essentially giving away.

I chose the “hard” that aligns with my purpose, beliefs, & connection to God. The “hard” that keeps me alive, which is huge coming from someone with two suicide attempts and a previous struggle with suicidal ideation. I remember, after a very difficult day at work, saying out loud, “I want to live!” The resignation letter was drafted & submitted very soon after that moment.

In addition to the good things I’ve mentioned that have come as a result of me quitting, I’ve been hired by another great company for a part-time job that starts pretty soon.

Proof that when you close one door, especially if that door leads to a room you aren’t supposed to be in, another opens.

The time it takes for that door to open may be longer than we’d like, but it does open. & while we’re waiting for that door to open, it’s up to us to work on ourselves & allow others to help us so we’re properly prepared to enter that place where we are truly supposed to be.

If you need additional resources for mental health, addiction, and suicide prevention, head over to the “get help” section. If you want to share your experience or tell your story or journey as someone with a diagnosed mental health or mood disorder in order to connect with & encourage others, & you’re OK with that being shared here on the YNF website, shoot an email to stories@yourenotfinished.com or contact me through the site.

Anonymous submissions are welcome.