i think i made the mistake of making it sound like overcoming suicidal thoughts/depression/anxiety was easy. that it’s just some overnight miracle that happens once you realize how amazingly special you are and that you have a destiny to fulfill in this lifetime. and maybe it can happen like that, but it sure didn’t happen that way for me.
i still struggle every day with feeling down and letting my emotions get the best of me almost on a daily basis. with an anxiety disorder, it seems like i don’t really have a choice to sometimes. i’ve tried to medicate with drugs and alcohol to make myself feel better… even developed a dependence on it at one point in my life because i didn’t want to deal or feel anything. its natural to want that “quick fix” to get you feeling back to the “you” you once knew.
but reaching out for help, acknowledging your feelings, and having the courage to face them head on… that is what starts the road to recovery. its the slow and steady way of making sure you develop the strength you need just to get through each and every day. its being brave, one day at a time. and i know if this girl who was labelled “crazy/ self-destructive/alcoholic/whore/just about every name in the book” can start over and make a better life for herself, then you can too.