hopefully this one is much shorter than the last, i haven’t thought about it yet.
at any rate, i will start this one out by saying please try your best to NOT wait weeks… months… years… to tell someone you’re mad at or hurt by them. if you value the friendship/relationship at all you will be honest with them as soon as possible.
here’s why holding grudges and stuff like that irritates me (understatement) like crazy… and yes, this incident just happened.. but i am thankful for the inspiration because its relevant. for one, it ruins friendships. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. the lack of communication and honestly leads to more miscommunication, assumptions, and even lies. for two, and this is on a personal note to which i hope at least one person can relate, people seemingly wait to tell me how they feel as i’m trying to recover or when i’ve had a smile on my face longer than 7 hours. as someone who HATES hurting people, i have the tendency to dwell on how i can make things better for them which causes me to lose focus on my own recovery… which, oddly enough is for the betterment of myself AND my relationships with others. for three, holding grudges is EXTREMELY selfish to me. yes… i said it. it allows the person who does so to remain in their comfort zone, it deceives the other person into thinking that things are OK as they are, and least of all its the biggest mood killer in the world when you finally find out that the person you care about has been putting on a GIANT front for God knows how long. to me its like i’ve been losing time to make the relationship with that person better.
from the other side, i understand how telling the truth is usually not the most comfortable thing to do. but i also know that if you love someone and care for them doing so is more important than your own comfort. establishing relationships of value and importance is key in someones happiness, which will more than likely keep them alive both literally and figuratively. at the end of it all, it just makes people feel better….