this might be a little controversial, but please hear me out and then feel free to agree or disagree. i actually looked up the word “selfish” to make sure it was used properly:
1 : concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one’s own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others
2 : arising from concern with one’s own welfare or advantage in disregard of others <a selfish act>
based on that definition the attempter would have to be DELIBERATELY thinking about how their suicide would put other people at a disadvantage. how their death would hurt people, or someone in particular. as a matter a fact, the attempter would almost have to be egotistical, grandiose, and prideful in their attempt to die. like the suicide is something to be proud of.
now i have to admit i actually used to think that suicide was selfish, even after i attempted back in 2008. i allowed others to influence me in that direction in order to be agreeable and maybe even stop myself from thinking about trying to do that again. turns out, i continued to think about it on a constant basis AND i attempted again, because i was sick. not because this was the life i WANTED to live. not because it was PLEASURABLE. not because of something i could control on my own.
people do not chose depression/mental illness. who in their right mind would? it is a sickness that needs to be monitored and controlled with HELP. i’ve gotta tell you when i attempted suicide i wasn’t thinking about how i could put others at a disadvantage. i wasn’t thinking about my own welfare. i wasn’t “concentrating on my own advantage.” i thought that people would benefit from me being gone. i felt tired of being a burden on people. i felt that i wouldn’t be able to hurt anyone if i were to just go away. anyone wanna tell me how that’s selfish?
since i’m being completely honest i want to consider the possibility that maybe people explain away suicide with selfishness because its easier to do so. no blame is placed on anyone but the person who has ended their life. people can be mad at the person who is gone because its easier to be angry with someone than it is to love, forgive, and miss them. its easier than trying to figure out what was wrong or educate themselves on mental disorders. there’s already stigma & stereotypes attached to mental issues so why not add selfishness to the mix? why not make the person who felt low enough to take their own lives look worse than they felt, all while inadvertently making yourself look and feel better?
come on now. this needs to STOP. people who have the ability to do so need to look outside of themselves and try putting themselves in someone else’s shoes. show people the way to get help don’t just tell them to! have compassion for someone in need, don’t judge them for being needy! don’t take the easy way out… encourage community & education, and put an end to stigma by being active in truly making a difference in this world.
[to clarify, this isn’t me getting on anyone who has lost someone to suicide. my heart, thoughts, prayers & condolences go out to you, your friends, and your family. this is me encouraging all not to make assumptions about why someone does something like this. to get the facts if they can and, with time, try to be understanding.]