some people just aren’t very good with words… some don’t really care to clarify or explain things better… some would rather bask in ignorance. either way, i think people are better at saying the wrong things than saying the right things.. myself sometimes being one of those people.

for example, and i’m going to try to give this example as clearly as possible, yet without giving too much away… last night someone expressed how depressed they were to someone else… and how they did something that they eventually regretted that could have REALLY hurt themselves. instead of expressing any real concern for the person’s well being, they were more upset that they weren’t in the know about what that person did. i couldn’t believe it… you mean to tell me that someone just tried to hurt themselves, feels bad for doing so, and all you can see is how they didn’t tell you about it??? i was pissed. how can someone not forgive and feel sympathy for someone who is truly remorseful even in spite of their depression?

but then i realized, this is just what society does… its not limited to one person. the majority of people just want to be in the know, they don’t really care about the well-being of others. let’s face it…. in this world it is more valuable to be all-knowing to be all-loving. its better to have something to hold over someone’s head and make them look smaller than they feel than it is to “stoop down” to their level of mental illness and/or try to have any real understanding of it.

its sad to say the least, and to be honest, my heart is genuinely hurting for people who feel remorse for something that they either can’t control or need real help controlling. people like me. in my personal life, i can’t tell anyone i’m depressed. i mean i can, but not without hearing something like “you have nothing to be depressed about” or “don’t be depressed,” as if its an on/off switch i can control. if myself or anyone else could do that, the switch would be off.. then we’d probably throw water on it to short it out so it would never turn on again.

at any rate, i’m not saying we need to be babied or anything ridiculous like that, i just feel like if we are supposed to be understanding of who others are.. be loving… be tolerable.. then why is it that we can’t get the same in return? in therapy we are taught how to say, feel, and the right things but the people around us can keep saying, feeling, and doing the wrong things when it comes to depression and suicide.

i wish i could do more, and until i figure out how to change the world i live in this is just, at the very least, something to think about.