i believe that almost everyone is guilty of looking for temporary pleasures to fix seemingly permanent problems. i know i am, but i didn’t realize how toxic that could get until recently.

sure i’ve used alcohol to cope with traumatic and not so traumatic events; and when that wore off i would try to find something else to make me happy whether it be food, sex (surprisingly, given my history with it… i’ll save that for another blog), sweets, anything but things that are healthy to indulge in. so now i don’t use alcohol as a coping mechanism i use food and other things that i thought i had control over, only to now realize that they had control over me.

i’ve made them sort of my savior, forgetting that i’ve already been supplied with what i need to make it in the world i live in. its the same for others, too. some use work to cope, money, relationships both romantic and platonic, self-harm, eating disorders, overly exercising… all of those things (and i’m only naming a few). all it does it take focus off bettering yourself and fixing those problems… and it creates new ones.

so now, to be frank, in my circumstance i may be ok with not drinking (i still do socially, but not to cope), but now i’m the heaviest i’ve ever been and i’m still using unhealthy methods to search for something that i know i  already have (sidenote: i’m not knocking anyone who is overweight, but for me personally this is new, considering i was pretty athletic for the majority of my life). most of us might know that we have something deep inside that is keeping us going, but just don’t know how to tap into it or where it is…

thats where help comes in, either through therapy or faith, meditation, positive surroundings, patience, kindness in friendships…. thats where our help comes from. its up to us to go get it, however, and to be what we need. usually the only way we can get something (thats WORTH having at least) is by giving it and treating others how we want to be treated. i know it sounds cliche and to be frank again, like bullshit, but its true. i’m FINALLY starting to see evidence of it in my life and in the lives of others around me.

i know it might be hard… scratch that, i know it is hard, but its time to fight for ourselves so we can stay alive. its time to replace bad habits with good ones. its time to develop character. its time to appreciate who we are and know that there is and will never be anyone like us in this world. those who have selfish motives will reap what they sow, so we cant worry about what others are doing to get ahead. just know that by doing the right thing for others and ourselves, we will not only start to be happier but we will be remembered by what we gave and be a great example of positivity for others.