these last few weeks or so have been somewhat of a struggle (severely understated), as it has been a little bit harder than usual to fight my depression and anxiety. harder, but not impossible.
this week i was told to write 15 good things about myself so that i can go back to that whenever i have an anxiety attack or bout of depression/isolation. here’s what i came up with:
– i can make people laugh
– i can sing
– i try my best
– i am strong
– i like to try new things
– i can relate to people
– i can speak well
– i am honest
– i’m a kid at heart
– i have nice skin
– i am a go-getter
– i have learned good lessons from the past
– i have good morals
– i have nice boobs
– i am brave
first of all, this is in no particular order and they are random. as simple as these things sound they were very hard to come up with and i was reaching deep in my brain for this stuff. second of all, the last time someone told me to write a list of good things about myself was when i was like… 8 or something.
i’ve said it once and i will say it again, as kids we are encouraged to show off the good things about ourselves and be proud of who we are. as we grow up people in our society discourages us from doing so because now we are being “boastful” or “egotistical” or “stuck-up”… OR it gets annoying to people so they find ways to shut us down, and we let them because we just want to be loved and accepted by someone… anyone.
this list i have made sounds like it was written by a kid (except the nice boobs part) because it kind of was. it was the last time i was allowed to be proud of being myself. i had to revert and reach back to when i wasn’t hurt, betrayed, disgraced, diagnosed with anxiety and depression… so i had to dig VERY deeply for something basic that i should already know and carry with me everyday (except the nice boobs part haha).
doing something as simple as this, however, is really helpful. sometimes you have to encourage yourself and pick yourself up when people are bringing you down. you have to stay strong and give yourself a chance when others are bullying you or making you feel unloved… you have to dig for that strength inside of yourself that will give you the courage and bravery to see yourself for who you really are or to ask for help in seeing yourself in a positive way. many resources are here on the blog, but if you need help call national suicide prevention hotline at 1-800-273-TALK, or check out http://www.halfofus.com for tips on how to cope.