lately i have spent a lot of time thinking about how things can change.

for example, i noticed that as a child you are trained in what’s right and wrong, good and evil, etc… and told you are supposed to hold fast to those ideas, truths, and beliefs until, well, death… because that is what will make you a moral human being that positively contributes to society (one can hope). its the heart and soul of what makes us who we are.

for most of us, i would like to believe, that is still true. sometimes we might lose our way, deliberately or not so, but what has been ingrained in us more often than not usually prevails eventually if not immediately.

then i was reminded of someone i… used to know? i mean i still know OF them and am still “facebook friends” with the person but i have no real desire to maintain a friendship in the real sense with them for the reasons i’m about to explain. this person spent a lot of time in school learning & practicing how to be an effective therapist. years. i applaud their efforts, and really anyone who will sit in multiple classrooms and understudy for that long to attain what they want to in life in order to help others.

but this raises the question: can someone with mental disorders (i.e. me) have an effective friendship/relationship with a therapist? one would logically think that they would somehow be drawn to each other; with one needing help and the other trained to provide it.

BUT from experience some people would know that mixing business and personal almost NEVER works out. think about it, its easier for a patient to talk to someone that you know you don’t have to deal with on a regular basis and i would imagine it’s even easier for a therapist to diagnose a complete stranger all while being trained to not get too attached to them as the patient/therapist relationship continues… that in learning how to “fix people” for lack of a better phrase, in some if not most instances, you have to unlearn the heart aspect of the matter so that the line between business and personal doesn’t get blurry.

i’m not saying mental health professionals could care less about their patients because i have no way of knowing that nor do i desire to generalize, but what i am saying is i feel fairly certain that it is more difficult to handle mental issues when they are close to home for ANYONE.. and luckily for them, they have the choice to not deal with it when it hits so closely.

the funny thing about it, though, is that the business IS personal, which is where my “all or nothing/now or never/it is what it is” mindset seems to have me flustered. so why wouldn’t the person i… used to know(?) be more compassionate especially since i wasn’t looking for her to be a therapist or caregiver then or ever (among the many questions that will probably remain unanswered)? but, like i said it they have the choice to not deal with mental issues when they hit so closely.

i used ALL of that to pose the question to the rest of the world, hoping at least one lovely individual can answer it for me: can a person who needs help, co-exist effectively or on a personal level with the helper?