In my last post, I admitted that I had a bit of a breakdown because of some personal things that happened/had been happening.
I don’t like to go into details about things like this, because it doesn’t matter that I was crying uncontrollably or that I could hardly get out of bed even though I couldn’t sleep anyway. It doesn’t matter that for a minute I felt that I couldn’t talk to anyone about how I felt because every time I open up people leave. It doesn’t matter that I completely shut down and decided that I would delete my primary source of communication and isolate so no one would try to convince me that my feelings just might be valid just to make me feel stupid about them later. It doesn’t matter that I felt like I deserved bad things to happen to me.
What matters… is that everything I just said could NOT be more wrong.
I can’t imagine how many people go through that with the thought that their real, raw, intense, and valid emotional pain means nothing. It’s crazy how many people are led to believe that it is a waste of time or inconvenient; that it is THEIR fault they struggle with mental and/mood disorders and might want to kill themselves because of it.
The fact that a lot of people simply cannot express themselves in a healthy way because of the stigma attached to being genuine and the sheer ignorance and laziness of people solely concerned about their own well being… THAT is what matters and needs to be addressed.
It is because of that that I decided to leave things as they are. My personal Facebook page will remain deactivated until further notice, my phone will most likely stay off. With the inability to find a safe place to be yourself and recover sometimes you have to find the strength to create that place. That is what I have done for myself, and others who need that place as well. No judgment, condemnation, lies, or misconceptions. Just truth.
If you need help please don’t hesitate to click this link and call one of the numbers: http://yourenotfinished.com/get-help/
If you need reminders of what keeps you going, check out my last video:
Stay safe, survivors. And stay alive.