For those of you who have been following YNF you know that it’s been about three months since I’ve posted anything here or on any other social media sites, and for that I sincerely apologize. Allow me to explain.
For the last 9 months or so, I have been learning a lot about myself… and in a nutshell I have been learning that I was never who I thought I was. Ever.
There were so many lies that I believed about myself; lies like:
– I will always be an alcoholic/depressed/suicidal.
– I will never be good enough.
– I’m unlovable.
– I’m too needy/cling.
– I will never get what I want, and life will always be hard.
– I’m ugly.
Lies that I’m sure most everyone has at the very least considered believing, whether they want to admit it or not, not realizing that believing those lies means I have come into agreement with them and accepted them as my identity. Every time I told myself those things I was shaping myself in such a way that made it so people would see me as I saw myself.
So for the last 9 or 10 months, I have been (with the help of some awesome friends/family, and of course by the grace of God) undoing and unlearning the terrible words I have spoken over myself and the actions I have done to myself; as well as the terrible words/actions that others have spoken/done to me. Saying truths like:
– I am no longer an alcoholic, sober for over a year, and my best days are still to come.
– I am not JUST good enough, I am unique. There is no one like me.
– I am loved.
– I am allowed to express my desire to connect with someone in a healthy way, and it is brave to do so.
– As long as I am living, I have the chance to get what I want in life.
– I am beautiful.
If anyone ever asks me the 1st step to true freedom and recovery, I will say that it starts with the mind. Beginning to realize that the negative thoughts don’t just stay in your mind, they change… or can even possibly end your life. It starts with cancelling the negative lies with positive truths. I have seen the difference in the quality of my life and I know, with help, you will see the difference in yours.
So yea, that’s the reason for the 3 month break. For future reference, I won’t be taking that long of a break ever again because I know that this journey should be shared with whoever decides they want to read this thing.
Stay strong, survivors. Until next time.