“Today, I did it. I quit a thing without feeling guilty about it,” says the founder of a thing called You’re Not Finished. I’m supposed to be telling people to not give up, but I think it’s important to talk about instances in which it’s wise to.
Last November, I started participating a ministry at my church. It should have seemed pretty seamless to be part of it since I have a ton of experience & the ability to do it, but there were some issues:
- Time – spending more time at church than I thought I would & spending time getting there. A 35-minute drive on weekends turns into an hour & 40 minute drive during weekdays/peak traffic hours.
- Finances – spending more money on gas to get to church during the week & on weekends, sometimes sacrificing weekends (when possible to save money on gas). Also spending money on food, wardrobe, & other items needed.
- Energy – while doing this ministry was fun at times, I would be completely exhausted following any participation.
- Communication – minimal at times, not gonna lie.
Any form of service requires investing your personal resources to an extent, but I found myself making sacrifices that were unwise & detrimental to my peace & personal wellbeing. Worse, I found myself fearing some kind of terrible consequence if I didn’t make these choices.
That’s when I decided to take an inventory on how fit I was to serve in this ministry.
I realized an overweight, still grieving, working on financial stability Brittany is not one that needs to be sacrificing physical, emotional, & financial well-being for a ministry in which I can be easily replaced; especially in a space where the grace to be imperfect & grow isn’t there for me. That Brittany isn’t one who can serve to the best capacity. In many settings, not just religious ones, I see & hear of people who serve so well but end up taking breaks, stepping away, or even (& unfortunately) passing away due to physical, mental, & financial issues that could have been addressed/prevented if they were prioritized.
What does it matter if I have the talent or ability to do something if I can’t be around to do it well?
So I quit. Guilt free.
I quit with the realization that my time needed to be spent focusing on work, YNF, family, & personal improvement. The money I’m blessed with should be spent wisely & any excess should be given to those in need (giveaway next month, by the way – teehee). Spending $10 a month on a gym membership is much wiser than spending ~$20 a week on gas & more on eating out. The energy I spent on that will go back to investing in my spiritual well-being; with an excellent spiritual well-being I can invest more into my work, YNF, & relationships. & finally I can work on/value relationships in which communication is encouraged & common, even when it’s uncomfortable.
Here’s the main thing that fuels all of this:
I no longer want to express what looks like life externally while failing to address what feels like or is death internally.
What’s on the outside needs to match the inside & there needs to be consistency all around. Talent & external abilities mean absolutely nothing if I’m not physically, mentally, or financially well enough to carry it out.
That’s what finishing well really means.
With grace for mistakes & imperfections, that is exactly what I’m going to do.
I hope you’re encouraged to do the same.
If you need additional resources for mental health, addiction, and suicide prevention, head over to the “get help” section.
If you want to share your story or journey or experience of overcoming mental distress or as someone with a diagnosed mental health or mood disorder you’re OK with that being shared publicly on the YNF website, shoot me an email at brittany@yourenotfinished.com or stories@yourenotfinished.com, or contact me through the site.
Anonymous submissions are always welcome.