golden hour

The “No Friends” Problem

I’ve been seeing a lot of “I have no friends & I’m OK with that” YouTube videos lately.

& I get it because, as someone who values friendship yet is, in many ways, scared to actually show that sentiment in action, it’s easier to claim contentment with being alone instead of admitting you’re lonely.

Needing support, love, or friendship, expressing those needs, & not receiving those needs in return hurts more than we might realize. It’s potentially killing us – at least those of us who feel alone in our relationships (platonic, non-platonic, or familial) or even in their purpose.

As for me, I do have a couple of good friends, but I spend most of my time alone.

Working from home.
Writing, recording podcasts, or conducting anything related to YNF at home & alone.
Going to the gym alone.
Not receiving as much encouragement or fun interaction as I’d love.

Because of that, I get that feeling of loneliness often, & it has gotten to the point where I’m willing to endure the pain of disappointment or unreciprocated love – assessing it to be a lesser evil than trying to protect myself from that pain.

Additionally, I have to trust that if I do something wrong or make a mistake that it won’t result in a broken connection.

I’ve been fighting those fear & allowing myself to feel that disappointment in the event that it comes. & the fact that I’m, with continued practice, starting to feel more & more safer to do so is something that I’m really proud of.

Still, we collectively can’t claim to know the importance of friendship or connection to others & promote the idea that being without friends is OK at the same time. We’re not wired to live on our own. We weren’t created to live without meaningful love & respect for one another. If you’re a Christian, you know we are commanded to love God & one another, & we see multiple examples of the importance of friendship in the Word.

We need connection, & we need friendship.
There’s no way around that.

I really hope we all realize that soon – that there is healing, purpose, & freedom in real intimacy & connection.

If you need additional resources for mental health, addiction, and suicide prevention, head over to the “get help” section. If you want to share your experience or tell your story or journey as someone with a diagnosed mental health or mood disorder in order to connect with & encourage others, & you’re OK with that being shared on the YNF website, shoot an email to or contact me through the site.

Anonymous submissions are welcome.

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