The following testimonies are from survivors of suicidal thoughts and attempts.

TRIGGER WARNING: Some of the stories you read contain instances of self-harm and physical, emotional, and sexual abuse.

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Meet NomadicPilgram

“At the age of nine, my biological mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. My father couldnt take care of my family of 6. We were disperced to other aunts and uncles until my mother got better. This is where shit starts hitting the fan.
My aunt sit me and my little sis down. She told us that we werent able to go back to my real parents. I didnt know why my parents didnt want me anymore. I  idolized my father, and loved my mother. At the age of 10 I started cutting myself with safety pins. I wouldnt make too many friends and I felt all alone and different from.all the others in that I lived with my aunt and uncle never to see my parents again. It hurt. On the 4th of july 2002 my cousin that I adored died at 21. It killed me inside. Shortly after, I was moved to another aunt and uncle. That only lasted a year. To this day I dont know why I got bumped to the parents I have now. I love my mom and dad. I shortly later found out the reason why I couldnt see my idolized father, turned out that he was a pedofile. He sexually abused my little sis. When I found out I tried to off myself with an od. Got caught and sent to a loony bin for minors a couple.weeks. I dropped out of HS at the age of 19, my senior year. I wanted to be a marine but they wouldnt take me. At the age of 20 I had tried to off myself many times. Never to succeed.
One thing that keeps me going is knowing that somewhere out there there is someone going through worse. And I do believe in true love and that is someone out that that will complete me. Also, I fear hell, yes I am a catholic and my faith keeps me alive.”


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4 thoughts on “SURVIVORS

  1. Dear Nomad,
    I sort of understand what you’ve been dealing with. I’m Catholic too, you see. For me, the first time I walked NEAR a Catholic church I had such a severe panic attack that I had to turn around and walk the other way.
    Eventually, I was able to walk past it on the other side of the street, then on the same side of the street. Finally, one day, I was able to go in and sit in the very back pew for an entire Mass.
    I cried! I didn’t get struck by lightening, the church didn’t fall around me! I then went and spoke to a priest, who happened to be a family friend, a few weeks later.
    My Catholic faith is one of the things that (at first) scared me the most! Suicide being a mortal sin and all. But my Catholic faith has also been one of the things that has helped me to rebuild my life!
    So, go on! Get down with your BAD CATHOLIC SELF!!

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